clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Lookit

The decline of the Washington NFL team as told through a pizza giveaway

New, comments

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.

"Toppings for Touchdowns" has been a mainstay in the DC area for years. The hopes and dreams of low-price pizza connoisseurs hang on Washington's ability to score touchdowns. There are heady weeks, and lean ones -- now we're witnessing the slow descent into madness.

One free topping ... one. Pick wisely.

It didn't always used to be this way.

pizza chart

The season kicked off with a cheese pizza Monday thanks to the Houston Texans, who held Washington to six points. Then came Jacksonville, a gluttonous hedonistic engorgement of toppings -- all 10 of them.

Then the dark age came. It arrived without warning. The recession of toppings dipped below three, the magic number needed for the subjectively perfect trinity of sausage, mushrooms and olives. Something special was required to kick-start Dan Snyder's pizza-based economy.

Enter Dallas. Washington only scored two touchdowns but used some weird formula to break their topping drought.

That was three weeks ago. The toppings are gone now. Today Washington fans will put cigarette butts on their pizzas and munch the ashes with hatred at what they've become. There's no telling when the toppings will return.

★★★

Join FanDuel to earn big money in one-week fantasy leagues. Sign-up and earn a 100% deposit bonus.