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Ain't no birthday party like a Stephon Marbury birthday party

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Stephon Marbury celebrated his 37th birthday in China. Strangely.

When is a birthday party also basically a splatter scene from a found-footage horror movie? Given the extremely strange evidence on Stephon Marbury's Weibo page, the answer is "when it's Marbury's 37th birthday, and his dear friends violently assault him with a large-ish birthday cake."

So, what all happened, there? Tragic but all-too-common dessert accident, extremely niche homemade fetish video, raw footage from the sequel to Sinister?

"They got me good for my birthday," Marbury explained in a post on Weibo. "Held me down and made me take that cake!" Which definitely doesn't read or seem all that weird, provided that you are Stephon Marbury. Perhaps it seems less bizarre in GIF form?

Marbury-food_medium

Nope, still seems notably more "snuff film" than "birthday party footage." All the same, happy birthday to the Starchild, a fine basketball player and still a true pioneer in the field of Acting Strangely On The Internet.