What did you have for breakfast this morning? Eggs, maybe some toast? What about a bowl of cereal or oatmeal? Maybe if you have a penchant for the dramatic, you went for a cigarette and a cup of black coffee. Hey, this is a judgement free zone. We're not going to tell you how to live.
If you were in Sochi this morning you'd experience a lovely breakfast treat.
From this morning's breakfast buffet at #Sochi2014 media housing! pic.twitter.com/8n7qMm9FoM
— Liz Clarke (@lizclarketweet) February 6, 2014
BOOM!
CURD MASS.
It's easy to leave the story here, to tell you "curd mass sounds gross," but we're going a step further. If you do a Google image search for "curd mass" you get something that looks a lot like cottage cheese. No harm, no foul. However, if you Google it's Russian name "творог масса" things get very different, very quickly.
STARE AT THIS CURD MASS CAT
(Photo via korzinka.org)
He is so friggin' pumped you're about to eat some curd mass that he can't even contain himself.
YOU ALSO FIND CREEPY RUSSIAN TV PHOTOS
(Photo via 1TV Russia)
"Now we put butter in the curd mass and.... WATCH OUT, HE'S GOT A KNIFE!"
FINAL STEP
If you're really brave you venture out of the gated community of Google images to find a Russian curd mass message board (yes, this is a thing).
One response to a question about curd mass came from user "Юли" who said:
"творожная масса - это старый переработанный творог с кучей химических добавок. Фу, гадость!"
Wow. Hard hitting stuff, that says it all really. Oh, sorry I forgot y'all don't speak Russian. We've got you covered:
"curd - it's an old recycled cottage cheese with a bunch of chemical additives. Ugh, disgusting!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!