Mr. Met, the Mets' stately anthropomorphic baseball mascot, is on Twitter now. Fellow Twitter users, both furry and fleshy alike, welcomed him. But the Royals' lion mascot Sluggerrr took it up a rakish notch:
SHE WON'T CALL YOU BACK BECAUSE SHE'S MARRIED, YOU DEGENERATE SLEAZECAT. IT SAYS "MRS." RIGHT IN HER NAME. Seriously, how creepy do you have to be to bid a man welcome by making a direct and unabashed play for his wife? I bet Sluggerrr's been texting Mrs. Met constantly since they took that photo together. Step off.
That's right, a real man with a real baseball for a head. Not some perverted lion with a crown grafted onto his face and excessive consonants in his name. The Met union is strong. For every public display of sexual discontent, there is a public display of affection. Leave this marriage alone, Sluggerrr!