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Bartolo Colon, New York Mets slugger, drives in a run

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This short video is the only argument against the Designated Hitter rule you will ever need.

Brad Barr-USA TODAY Sports

Bartolo Colon is 40 years old, 5'11 tall and 267 pounds. And this year, for the first time ever, the 2005 Cy Young Award winner will attempt to play a whole season for a National League ballclub, the New York Mets.

Today, in a spring training game, he had an RBI single. And the crowd went WILD.

Colon played 17 games for the Expos, hitting .128 and racking up five of his 10 career hits. But with the Mets, we'll be blessed with a whole season of Colon, Eggplant-Shaped Guy Trying To Hit A Baseball With A Baseball Bat And Then Trying To Run If He Actually Makes Contact. And it is WONDERFUL. I mean, I'm not in good shape, and Colon is somehow four inches shorter than me and 87 pounds heavier. And he's the athlete and I'm the blogger.

Hopefully, Colon's weight allows him to pack some power, and we'll see him driving in ribbies and trotting around the basepaths all year long.