The Texas Rangers don't care about your cholesterol, the Texas Rangers don't care if one day you need a stent. What the Rangers DO care about is varying degrees of deliciousness, all of which are available in 2014.
GAZE UPON THE UNHOLY QUARTET
Via @espn_durrett, @darrenrovell and @rangers
1. "The Choomongous": A 24-inch Asian beef sandwich. This is by far the item we're most likely to eat.
2. "The Boomstick": Another 24-inch food, but this time it's a hot dog with a stupid amount of stuff on top.
3. Hungarian bacon dipped in maple syrup: A food so diabolical that it doesn't have a quirky name.
4. "The Pizza Burger": An affront not only to the hamburger, but a fastball to the head of everything the Italian culinary world has to offer.
h/t Hardball Talk