The first week and a half of the World Cup featured one game at a time. But now that we've reached the third and final game in each group, we've reached the four days of the World Cup with two games played simultaneously.
WHY! WHY CAN'T WE WATCH ALL THE GAMES!
Well you see, since the result after the third game determines who advances out of the group, the results of one game are important to the players of the other game. If Ghana and Portugal played before USA-Germany on Thursday and tied, USA-Germany would instantly become meaningless. As is, USA will have to play hard for a win or draw all 90, perhaps putting themselves in worse defensive position. It'd be unfair if one set of teams got to know the result of the other game beforehand.
But it also makes a spectacle for the fans: For example: Manchester United and Manchester City had simultaneous kickoffs in the last week of the 2011-2012 Premier League with the title on the line, which led to these insane final minutes, only watchable in split-screen. USA and Mexico had simultaneous kickoffs on the last day of CONCACAF qualifying, which led to this reaction from Mexico's commentators when Graham Zusi saved the day.
Simultaneous important games is difficult to consume, but awesome if done properly, which is why we want to give you help.
1. Go to a bar
Bars have more than two TV's, most of the time. They also serve alcohol, and generally food. COUNTERPOINT: Some people have jobs.
2. Have two TV's
3. Watch one game on TV and the other on your computer/tablet/phone
WatchESPN has apps that allow you to watch a game on pretty much any device you own. Put the less-interesting game on there and turn the sound down.
4. Watch one game on your TV and have the other one fixed so you know what happens
This is by far the most expensive approach, but the one guaranteed to allow you to fully comprehend what happens in both matches. A mere simple match fixing will just get some of the players to try less hard and some of the refs to make bad calls in the favor of the result you want, but for a special fee, you can request specific moments -- "miss a shot right of the net in the 67th minute" -- that you can discuss with your friends later. Arrange for a late stunner in one game and hope the other pans out.
5. Watch one game, keep the remote handy, and chill on Twitter
We're *all* watching. We'll tell you if one game is going better than the other, and when you should change the channel.
6. Watch one game, listen to a radio call of the other
Did you know that there is a thing called "radio" (pronounced: ray-dee-oh) It's true! Signals are transmitted through the air that will tell a "radio box" in a car or on your desk to play certain sounds. Sometimes these sounds are sports! Soccer doesn't translate well to radio, but at least somebody will yell GOOOOOOOOOOAL when there's a goal.
7. Fly to Brazil, go to the stadium and bring a tablet
Although you probably just should enjoy the game you're at, you spoiled jerk. Also, stadium wireless is typically quite poor.
8. Watch one game and pay the linesman at that game to signal you the results of the other game in semaphore code
This isn't a good idea because he'll get fired really quickly after calling offsides a dozen times while telling you who has the ball in the other game. On the plus side, he already has flags. ALTERNATELY, you could pay people at the game to run on the field holding tablets with the other game, but the tablets would be too small and they'd keep getting arrested.
9. Stand in a whispering gallery with somebody watching the other game
You can watch your game and the person on the other side of the whispering gallery can tell you what's happening, even if they're 50 or 100 feet away! Isn't that neat!
10. Go to one of those psychics that will read your palm and watch the game there while asking them to tell you what's happening in the other one
Psychics will pretty much tell you whatever the hell you want if you pay them money, including what's happening in a soccer game you're not watching! CAVEAT: Everything they tell you could be completely wrong.