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Wanny Doodhead, Mandy Ross and other NFL Spoonerisms

There is no offseason.

Doug Pensinger

It is a dumb thing to do, honestly, if also a very easy one. The way it works is, you take the first letter/sound of a person's first name and swap it with the corresponding part of the last name. So, for example, if you were to do it to Randall Cunningham's name, you'd wind up with Candall Runningham. If you do it with Martin Sheen's name, you'd wind up with ... well, don't do it with Martin Sheen's name, definitely don't do that, but you see where this is going and how it works.

You can see why this is the sort of thing that might enter a weary and unwatched brain on a Friday afternoon, or late at night, or when that brain is supposed to be doing something else and therefore is most vulnerable to this sort of thing. I can't vouch for my colleague Ryan Van Bibber's state of mind earlier Friday afternoon. I can't say why he decided to do what he did. But he did this:

He started it. He started this:

There were disputations:

But quickly it settled into an almost incantatory rhythm, one bit of phonetically inverted nonsense following the next, like waves chasing each other onto and off of a beach. Waves made of mostly fried brain matter, on a beach made of almost-time-to-go-home.

And that is what Friday afternoons are like on the Internet in early August. Please feel free to continue this idiocy in the comments, or wherever you please. It's your Friday, and we're obviously in no position to judge you for spending it doing this, should you so choose.


Just adding these, as I'd somehow never seen either of them before and because they are important: