clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:


Evil robot Jim Harbaugh maintains scary smile during Ice Bucket Challenge

New, comments


Jim Harbaugh is not a human being. He is a robot. I have proof, from footage of the 49ers' Ice Bucket Challenge for ALS support on Friday (via Niners Nation):

Water is cold and wet. These qualities cause sensations. Sensations cause feelings, which cause reactions. A human shuts his eyes, winces, maybe even runs away. Harbaugh bats his eyelashes for a fraction of a second, but keeps his lids open for the duration of the actual splash. Not only does he keep his smile wide, he actually engages the "open" function mid-pour to affect "EXPRESSION > DELIGHTED." We must not tolerate this.

Is this something a human would say?

No, it's not. The processor is clearly running the "JOKES > DAD" operation. And that uncanny dryness is suspect, too. I think it's making him stronger, guys.

Jim Harbaugh is an evil robot and should not be allowed to coach an NFL team.