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Everyone on Twitter stole everyone's Shawn Oakman jokes

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Dang. The Internet is a bad place full of thirsty people. On Thursday, the Internet discovered Shawn Oakman, a 6-foot-9, 280-pound Baylor DE who looks like a created player from Breaking Madden.

He was an instant hit.

This is a nuanced joke, but let's try to understand it.

I think it's that Chipotle, a popular fast-food burrito restaurant, normally charges more for guacamole. In this case, the Twitter user imagines Shawn Oakman — remember, all 280 pounds of him — insisting he not be charged extra. Given Oakman's stature, the Chipotle employee has no choice but to agree.

The joke shows up endlessly on Twitter, with the phrasing or even the situation slightly transformed.

People on Twitter are desperate creatures who need retweets and favs to validate our existence. Pity us — and oh, it's us.