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What the f*** does 'FORM A F***ING WALL' mean?

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Learn more about the term Pistons coach Stan Van Gundy invented on Tuesday.

Why are we talking about the Form A F***ing Wall defense?

Because the Fox Sports Detroit cameras caught Pistons coach Stan Van Gundy giving that specific instruction to his team during a timeout at the end of Detroit's one-point win over the Spurs. This provided much amusement for anyone watching. We should chip in for the FCC violation.

Why did Van Gundy tell his team to Form A F***ing Wall?

Because his team was winning by one point with 0.1 seconds remaining. Per NBA rules, a team cannot catch and shoot under 0.3 seconds, so the only way for the Spurs to win the game was to tip in a lob pass. Van Gundy's team foiled that strategy by stationing four of the five defenders right in front of the basket. They were metaphorically Forming A F***ing Wall in front of the hoop.

Why not just use Andre Drummond alone to Form A F***ing Wall? He's tall.

Better safe that sorry.

How does a team execute the Forming A F***ing Wall defense?

This handy diagram should help you visualize it. Detroit is in blue.

wall2

Here's how it looked in real life.

wall

So it's not a perfectly straight F***ing Wall. Anthony Tolliver is guarding the inbounds passer, and Drummond is a little in front of his teammates.

Did the Form A F***ing Wall defense work?

Yes, even though it was more of a Convex F***ing Wall. Though the Spurs start moving, Detroit's four players near the basket stay right where they are. This is all San Antonio can muster.

wall3

Manu Ginobili is good, but he's not that good.

Why don't more teams use the Form A F***ing Wall defense?

It's a question a lot of NBA fans ask after seeing players like Courtney Lee and Bradley Beal cut backdoor for lobs to beat teams with a fraction of a second left. The last thing you want is to lose on a tip-in like that.

But the Form A F***ing Wall defense is most effective only when a team must tip it in to win. NBA rules state that teams can catch and shoot as long as at least 0.3 seconds remain on the clock. There were 0.3 seconds left when Lee won the game and 0.8 when Beal did, giving each a chance to catch and then shoot. Had the Pistons used the Form a F***ing Wall defense in this situation with at least 0.3 seconds left, Ginobili could go into a normal, if maybe rushed, shooting motion from 18 feet away. No coach would ever surrender a wide-open shot with this little time left just to do everything possible to protect the basket.

However, if there are less than 0.3 seconds left, the Form A F***ing Wall defense should be the only option. Just ask ...

Who should have used the Form A F***ing Wall defense, but didn't?

... the Charlotte Bobcats several years back.

... the Miami Heat in last year's playoffs.

... and, well, the Spurs again.

Has anyone else used the Form A F***ing Wall defense?

This isn't exactly the same thing, but the Boston Celtics are the most recent team I can remember that successfully played zone defense in a last-second situation. (There may be others. It's fairly common).

celtics zone

(via CSN New England)

Unfortunately, the F***ing Triangle And Two Zone Defense While Switching Everything doesn't roll off the tongue the same way.

Where else can the Form A F***ing Wall defense be used in basketball?

Coaches often talk about "building a wall" in transition. The idea is that on a missed shot, defenders retreating first come together to cut off the basket, then move out to guard shooters and eventually their own men once the primary threat is addressed. This strategy is used to combat speedy point guards like Russell Westbrook, Ty Lawson and (fittingly) John Wall, who love to push the ball and attack the hoop on the break.

But the Form A F***ing Wall defense is not quite the same thing as this.

Can the Form A F***ing Wall defense be used outside of basketball?

Of course!

SVG

van gundy 2

stan van gundy 3

Can the Form A F***ing Wall defense be put on a T-Shirt?

Yes! Please post your favorite designs in the comments.

Where else can I learn about the Form A F***ing Wall defense?

SB Nation's Pistons site Detroit Bad Boys has a good breakdown.

Can Josh Smith execute the Form A F***ing Wall defense?

No. Of course not. Why would you ask such a question?

(All screenshots via FOX Sports Detroit unless otherwise noted).