Michael Bennett sees a lot of similarities between his Seahawks and their playoff opponent, the Panthers. Here's how he described the situation to The Everett Herald:
"It's so much alike, man. It's like you look at a girl who looks like you, and you find out it's your cousin, so you can't go on a date with her even though you'd like to, because she looks like you. But then you see her friend, and her friend's really hot, and you're like, ‘that's not my cousin,' so it's good."
Okay, I have questions:
1. If a girl looks like you, why would you like to go on a date with her? That runs counter to every animal instinct.
Is this what Michael Bennett is looking for in a woman?
(Photo: Elsa, Getty Images)
I know I wouldn't like to date someone who looks like me, but to each his own.
2. Note that Bennett says he's unable to date the object of his affection not because she's his cousin, but because she looks like him. But that's why he liked her in the first place!
3. Is this a first cousin we're talking about? How often do you find cousins you didn't even know about?
4. The friend is "really hot" and the other person merely looks like you, yet -- with dating on the brain -- you noticed the one who looks like you first?
5. Sometimes your cousins don't look that much like you. I'm just saying, Michael, if you've got all these cousins you don't know about, you might wanna do a thorough background check on that hot friend.
6. Backtracking here, Bennett's whole point is that the Panthers have a lot in common with the Seahawks. So are they the cousin or the hot friend? It sounds like they're the cousin, which means Bennett wants to date the Panthers but cannot. And then who's the hot friend?
7. Definitely don't do your sexy sack dance anywhere near any of these people, Michael. You know what could happen.
8. The Panthers and Seahawks are totally gonna tie now.