There's a crash outside. You open the door to find a white SUV speeding away, leaving a pile of stuff in its wake. You assume it's something foul or illicit, but when you get closer, you realize it's this:
Around 600 bobbleheads of Chris Denorfia, free agent baseball player who, despite what his bobble-uniform says, last played for the San Diego Padres in 2014.
When the roommates who found the b-heads (industry term) called the cops to say "uhhhhh so, what do we do?," the cops basically said "finders keepers," so they brought them all inside thinking they might have some value ... and now they've got an infestation. Until they can give all the Denorfias away, everyone's getting one as a gift -- friends, coworkers, even the news hosts above.
(And by the way, you should totally watch that video. It's a very well done, very cheerful news report, and the interview includes the guy using the phrase "trawling through a mountain of Denorfias.")
(Also by the way, if this is a guerrilla campaign by Chris Denorfia to get his name out there ... well played.)