Dabo Swinney is the head coach of the Clemson Tigers, currently an undefeated, College Football Playoff-bound squad. That's his day job. By night? By night, Dabo Swinney is, reportedly, a hip-hop dance instructor servicing superstars such as Cam Newton.
This is according to FOX Carolina 21, an affiliate based in Greenville, SC, that would obviously have the inside scoop on what Dabo does in his free time.
Surprisingly, this is a real report from a real website that reports real news. You can follow that link if you want to read the entire article entitled "Cam Newton rocks Dabo Swinney's dance moves after TD," or you can read the whole thing here since they will almost definitely correct their mistake at some point:
Here's the thing! That article is, like, 99 percent correct. Dabo is the head coach of the Clemson Tigers and Cam Newton did dab in the end zone after scoring against the Titans.
[EXTREMELY STEPHEN A SMITH VOICE] HOWEVA
Dabo Swinney did not invent the Dab. He did it once, and, although I would like for this to be how inventions work because I would totally claim responsibility for the lightbulb and pizza and airplanes, that does not make him the inventor.
Here is the one time Dabo Swinney dabbed:
That's not too bad! It's a pretty easy dance but you could totally fall into the trap of believing he came up with it based on just this one instance and how well he did it.
Here are some other times Dabo Swinney has danced:
Okay, go watch those last three Vines again. Not only is there no way Dabo has ever invented a dance move in his life, he definitely had to practice his dab for eight straight days before being able to do it that well.
The following are dance inventors we can confirm using the same logic that credit Dabo with the dab, though:
- The Nae Nae was first done by Joe Namath in an attempt to win Suzy Kolber's heart
- Kevin Harlan developed the Harlem Shake while bored during a basketball game
- Soulja Boy's famous Superman was actually invented by the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld
- The Humpty Dance was created by Humpty Dumpty, the egg from the nursery rhymes