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After being banned from soccer, Sepp Blatter quoted Arnold Schwarzenegger

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Philipp Schmidli/Getty Images

Sepp Blatter and Michel Platini were suspended by FIFA today, much to the joy of the world and the chagrin of Sepp Blatter. The FIFA president turned Bond villain is always willing to give a good quote, but these are on a whole other plain of existence.

Sepp warmed up by telling the truth. A refreshing change of pace for him.

Just remember one thing: Sepp Blatter is your punching bag (ball).

Wait for it...

Let's stop right here for a sec.

Dude, you got caught for corruption and fired for it. This wasn't some grand conspiracy between the entire world (of humanity) to attack you. One can only hope that Sepp's grandiose talk about how he's been treated is simply naivete and not fully appreciating how many people have been treated worse than Sepp Blatter.

Oh.

Let's take a break to appreciate Sepp Blatter's daughter staring into your soul.

It's too early for this. Anyway, Sepp decided to take a turn and detail how his ban is really like a disaster movie.

"Starring The Rock and Sepp Blatter -- 'Collateral Danger' coming this Summer"

Sepp then decided to drop the always-popular "I'M IN CHARGE!" line. It's a technique that has warmed people to dictators in the past.

As the press conference came to a close he wants you to know two things.

The final quote of a press conference is always tough. You need something memorable. I've got it! Close with Schwarzenegger.

Can't wait for his album to drop in May.

sepp album