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Stephen Curry is pooping luxuriously and playing better because of it

You also recently tweeted with glee about a new automated toilet your wife, Ayesha, bought for you.

Oh, man, that toilet just makes me happy in life. I bet if I did a case study on my performance since I got that toilet, you'd see the difference. I was in Minnesota when Ayesha told me about it. And the next day I had 46 [points]. There's a reason for that.


Stephen Curry is the best player in the NBA right now and he picked up right where he left off last year. He's basketball royalty and every royal needs a throne.

Steph pondered an interesting question here: Did the toilet really make him play better? Here at SB Nation we believe in the power of porcelain. Let's break down his 2015-16 season.

SBT (Stats Before Toilet)

31.9 PPG, .522 from the field (.454 from three), 5.3 RPG, 5.8 APG -- 9 games total

SAT (Stats After Toilet)

32.7 PPG, .538 from the field (.483 from three), 4.6 RPG, 5.8 APG -- 13 games total


This is science. Hard science. The only area where Curry got worse was in his rebounds, but given his raised field goal percentage and remaining a good distributor this is to be expected. Are we saying every NBA player should get an automatic toilet to lift their game? Yes, this is exactly what we're saying.

A good bowel movement is a lot like good ball movement. It requires relaxation, an innate understanding of your surroundings and being comfortable when the moment calls you. Steph Curry knows how to take his game from the porcelain to the hardwood and that is key.

"But wait," you ask. "What about his road games?" Good question, dear reader. Steph's inability to use his amazing toilet on the road raises a ponderous question.

SATOR (Stats After Toilet On Road)

35.5 PPG, .574 from the field (.553 from three), 5.25 RPG, 5.25 APG -- 8 games total

SATAH (Stats After Toilet At Home)

28.2 PPG, .480 from the field (.364 from three), 3.6 RPG, 6.8 APG -- 5 games total

This is a worrying trend and something the Warriors should be concerned about. The fear is that the toilet has made Steph TOO loose. His field goal percentage has sharply dropped and he's not getting as many rebounds -- perhaps because he's so poop-free that he can't out-muscle people in the paint. However, this looser Steph has led to more distribution to his teammates.

A new toilet is an adjustment. Overall this has been a boon for Steph Curry, but concerns of him becoming too loose are very real. Everybody poops and let's hope this change doesn't turn the Warriors' season into doodie.

h/t @dlswander

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SB Nation presents: Stephen Curry is literally a video game