A formal apology for my garbage Puppy Bowl fantasy picks

Earlier this week, I published my fantasy Puppy Bowl picks. Today, I have to hang my head in shame. My Fantasy Puppy Bowl picks were terrible.

This is what I wrote about Falcor, the clumber spaniel pup:

Falcor went on to score a Puppy Bowl record four touchdowns.

This is what I wrote about Bubba:

Bubba went on to score two touchdowns.

And worst of all... what I wrote about Cara:

Cara went on to win Puppy Bowl MVP

I am ashamed and embarrassed by my words. I let myself down. I let you, the readers down. I let the puppies down. It is me who is the garbage.

A statement from SB Nation managing editor Brian Floyd:

Rodger's irresponsible reporting is a disgrace to our company. For years we have worked to establish ourselves as a reputable outlet. We merely hope that our readers can look past this incident and realize that the work of one horrible writer doesn't outweigh all the good we've done here.

I await word on whether I have been suspended without pay, fired, or sentenced to prison. I deserve all three.