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Ducks with darts in their heads happens WAY MORE THAN IT SHOULD

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Please stop this awful, awful situation.

This happened on Tuesday:

From WSB-TV in Atlanta:

A woman is asking for the public's help in finding the person or people responsible for shooting a goose through the head.

...

Officials say this kind of thing is happening more and more.

WHY?! Why is this happening more and more?! When I first saw this article, I was immediately reminded of a "Weekend Update" segment. One from 1994. When Norm MacDonald was behind the "Update" desk.

norm macdonald

A one-legged goose with a dart in its head. And I complain about my life. You know? ... It's tougher for the one-legged goose.

A cursory googling of "one-legged goose dart head" reveals the story behind that "Update photo." (It also reveals that Google Books archives issues of the Weekly World News, for some reason?) The goose in question was in Turlock, Calif. and someone just decided to shoot it in the head.

And that's not all. Do an image search for "duck dart head" or "goose dart head" and you'll find dozens of instances of DIFFERENT WATERFOWL who have all gotten shot in the head with darts -- in most cases, ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE HEAD -- and lived.

WHY DO SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE DART GUNS

WHY ARE THEY USING THEM ON WATERFOWL

Dart-shooters, please: stop. You are monsters. Get well soon, ducks and geese of the world. Start running away from people you see who have guns. The guns will not shoot delicious bread crumbs at you.