Under-the-radar prospect Kris Bryant plays for the low-profile Cubs, and there's been a quiet decision to send him to the minors. You probably haven't heard about it. However, his deceptively productive spring (.425 average, .489 on-base percentage, nine home runs in 40 at-bats) means that a Strat-O-Matic card based on his stats is absolutely goofy.
HOMERUN HOMERUN HOMERUN HOMERUN HOMERUN strikeout HOMERUN is probably too long for a nickname, but it sure is Bryant's baseball soul captured in a chain of words. If you play Strat-O-Matic, slip that card in the pile. See if anyone notices.