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Surreal FIFA corruption details include demanded knighthoods and protective hotel sheets

These are absolutely unbelievable.

Philipp Schmidli/Getty Images

Details are emerging on the 14 people who are being charged with corruption as part of the FIFA arrests. Some are normal "money under the table" type things, but there are some AMAZING details.

Let me check my pockets real quick (via justice.gov)

On Dec. 12, 2014, the defendant José Hawilla, the owner and founder of the Traffic Group, the Brazilian sports marketing conglomerate, waived indictment and pleaded guilty to a four-count information charging him with racketeering conspiracy, wire fraud conspiracy, money laundering conspiracy and obstruction of justice. Hawilla also agreed to forfeit over $151 million, $25 million of which was paid at the time of his plea.

Hawilla was in a position to forfeit $151 million. That is what he was willing to surrender at the time of his arrest. This is the money he was okay to lose. Dude also had a cool $25 million available on-hand, just in case.

Nicolás Leoz, the knight that never was (via New York Times)

His resignation came after he was accused of taking kickbacks from a former FIFA marketing partner during the 1990s, and after an official for England's 2018 World Cup bid said Leoz had demanded a knighthood in exchange for his vote.

DEMANDED A KNIGHTHOOD! DAMN LEOZ, YOU DON'T MESS AROUND!

Attempted extortion aside, it was always completely impossible for him to become a knight. That's only open to people born in the UK. You would have thought he'd look into that before asking. It's kind of like holding up a bank and asking for a cheeseburger.

The US Attorney's Office likes to use sweet clip art on their charts

Also note the hed: "The Enterprise." Coming up with a title for charts is hard... for everyone.

Sheets helped protect FIFA officials as they were arrested

Look at that sheet. This isn't one that was hastily pulled off a bed. This means someone asked the front desk of this hotel for a clean, unsullied sheet to use as a screen. Also props to its light-blocking properties. That means a nice, high thread count.

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