John Oliver made a promise to happily consume all the products of FIFA sponsors if they pulled their support and got Sepp Blatter to resign. Blatter DID resign unexpectedly, though probably not as a result of sponsor pressure ... but "a promise is a promise." TIME FOR BRANDS:
Horrible adidas sneakers worn, a baker's dozen of horrible McDonald's sandwiches haphazardly gnawed, Bud Light Lime a.k.a. "Jolly Green Giant's ejaculate" gamely chugged -- that's how you keep a promise ... and probably throw up while wearing a tailored suit.
Also enjoyable: Oliver's United Passions review ...
SB Nation presents: Sepp Blatter was an awful...ly great FIFA chairman