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Ariana Grande won't perform at the MLB All-Star concert either because of her wisdom teeth or because she licked a donut and said she hates America

Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Okay, we're gonna walk slowly through this because it's an unsteady path. You can hold my hand if you want. So, to begin with: Pop star Ariana Grande was going to perform at the MLB All-Star Concert on Saturday in Cincinnati. That is apparently a real concert. Now she is not doing that, and Demi Lovato is going to replace her. Why? Her reps told the AP it's because she just got some wisdom teeth pulled on Monday, which appears to be true:

(Side note: I recommend following Ariana Grande on Twitter if only to witness the speed with which her most pedestrian tweets get tens of thousands of retweets.)

Seems reasonable. An extraction on Monday could easily cause pain and swelling that lasts through Saturday. But some people think there's another reason. Like

Pop princess Ariana Grande has pulled out of this weekend's free All-Star Game concert. Major League Baseball has "one less problem" without her.

Video caught Grande making disparaging comments about the United States on the Fourth of July while waiting to buy donuts. She also appears to lick a donut, to the delight or disgust of its eventual owner, sitting on the shop's counter.

"I hate Americans," Grande loudly tells her boyfriend. "I hate America."

The remarks followed a store employee showing Grande a tray of large pastries.

"One less problem" is a reference to her lyrics. "A tray of large pastries" is just a great phrase.

Okay, hold my hand for a sec again here. This is the video they mention:

That video, posted on TMZ earlier this week, depicts Grande kissing her boyfriend, then licking a doughnut at a bakery and saying "I hate America." I cannot explain why any of this happened, nor can I say for sure whether it had anything to do with her missing the All-Star Concert.

Grande's follow-up statement only makes things more confusing:

I'm just presenting some facts and leaving the rest to you. Enjoy Demi Lovato!