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24,000 Denver kids skipped school for the Broncos victory parade

Isaiah J. Downing-USA TODAY Sports

Have you ever been to a victory parade? Victory parades are for suckers. You stand there for hours in anticipation of the 2 minutes you get to peer at distant famous people over the tops of people's phones. Unless you actually get to ride a float, you might as well watch on TV. So I'm inclined to read this stat from the Denver Post in its converse:

More than a quarter of enrolled students missed school in Denver and Jeffco on Tuesday when the city celebrated the Denver Broncos' Super Bowl parade.

Denver Public Schools released numbers Wednesday showing 24,152 students had an excused or unexcused absence from one class period or more on Tuesday. That is about 26 percent of the 90,234 students enrolled in Denver schools.

Like, yes, those kids and their families are great fans and the weather was nice and I hope they had fun standing around...


...those other 65,000 kids got to hang out in school, not do any serious work because a bunch of kids in their class were missing, watch Emperor's New Groove on a VHS wheeled into the classroom*, dip into the teacher's Twizzler stash, and *still* feel extremely great about the Broncos winning the Super Bowl. They probably got some extra credit just for being there. Those kids are the real winners.

*It's been a while. This is still what you do when there's no schoolwork, right?