clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Lookit

Let's all vacation at this minor league baseball team's lazy river

The Frisco RoughRiders will have a river inside their stadium, because why not?

Did you ever wonder what a baseball stadium would look like if there were a river in the outfield? Of course you have! Don't worry, as you'll now get to see it with your own eyes, thanks to the Frisco RoughRiders. They are constructing a "lazy river" beyond the outfield fences now, and it's going to be big.

How big? Why don't we check with the press release for the pertinent details. It says here that it will hold 68,023 gallons of water, which apparently is the equal of 1,088368 cups of nacho cheese. Minor league teams are weird, y'all.

Weird or not, this does bring up an important question: When will someone build a river at a baseball stadium that's filled with nacho cheese instead of water? Maybe if this river is successful, another stadium will take up the cause. Or if this particular river fails, they'll just fill it with nacho cheese for 2017. Either way, please, get us a river full of cheese. Don't make promises you can't keep.

Would you like to watch this lazy river's construction? There's a camera set up so you can see it all happen -- you can find it in the press release -- and you can even take snapshots of their progress. Like so:

No, it's not just you picturing that finished and full of cheese. This river got me a lot hungrier than expected.

Before you ask, no, this isn't being funded by taxpayers like seemingly every other stadium renovation. This is privately funded, which raises some different questions, but rich people have spent their money in odder ways. Plus, you can swim in it, if you can get at least 25 friends together. You know you want to swim in it.