Yonder Martinez pitching with a toothpick in his mouth = badass move. Razor Ramon would approve. pic.twitter.com/uz9pVzTjgt— Andrew Harts (@AndrewHarts) March 22, 2016
Jonder Martinez is the coolest pitcher you don't know enough about. Why do we say this? He pitches with a dang toothpick in his mouth. There is nothing uncool about that. It's the perfect accessory. Disposable when needed, useful when warranted and it has that slight touch of danger that says, "Yeah, I don't care if I'm performing an athletic endeavor with a pointy stick in my mouth." It's like people in 50s movies who did that thing where they folded a packet of cigarettes into the arm of their shirt. It's just cool.
Martinez joins such toothpick-wielding luminaries as:
- Razor Ramon, former WWE wrestler and all-around badass.
- Benson Henderson, former UFC lightweight champion and all-around badass.
- Ryan Gosling in Drive, getaway man and all-around badass.
- Genma Shiranui from Naruto, ninjitsu artist and all-around badass.
- Paul Newman in every cool photo of Paul Newman, actor and all-around badass.
- Simon Pegg and Nick Frost in Hot Fuzz, small town police officers and all-around badasses.
- U L Washington, former Royals shortstop and all-around badass.
So basically, Martinez is in good company. The best part: He does this all the time. So cool.