Stadium food is trending upward and outward.
The only way to distinguish yourself in this crowded space is to offer food with more and more varied toppings than other ballparks.
Meet PNC Park's Cracker Jack & Mac dog, topped with caramel sauce, jalapeños, Cracker Jack & macaroni and cheese. pic.twitter.com/166CDx790u— Alicia Jessop (@RulingSports) March 24, 2016
The basic process is:
1. Take regular stadium food
2. Slather it with whatever awful garbage you can find, disregarding coherence and heft
But how far does this go? Are we just going to keep gradually adding more and more stupider and stupider ingredients to concessions? I say we cut to the chase.
As a student of the trends and an adventurous eater as well, I am proud to present the end-all be-all in the quest for the most elaborate stadium food.
This is the All Dog.
This hot dog has it all, and I mean that literally. Some of the many ingredients:
All-natural 100% beef frankfurter
Chicken parmesan sandwiches
Eggs of geese
The concept of forgiveness
Cheddar cheese sauce
The Sears tower
What remains of J. Crew's 2011 Fall collection
Raw red onions
Raw white onions
The 1998-99 Toronto Raptors
The rest of the elements in their entirety
All of the desks and other assorted office props they used in Jerry Maguire
Whole wheat bun