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Sports mascots, ranked from least to most nude

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Amid all the steroid-taking, ball-deflating scandals that pervade professional and college sports today, there’s something else to worry about.

It’s mascot nudity.

Yes, certain teams have ditched their offensive mascots, but others continue to roll with these scantily clad creatures. When you consider the furry community, things could really get dicey for some of these caricatures.

Here’s a look at some of the most nude mascots professional and college-level teams have to offer, ranked on state of undress and level of uncomfortability (on a 5-point scale, with 5 being maximum discomfort).

Mostly Clothed

University of Wisconsin's Bucky Badger

Uncomfortability rating: 3

Bucky Badger

Mary Langenfeld-USA TODAY Sports

He's got a shirt on, but something about him just makes us feel weird. Maybe it's his oddly shaped furry legs.

Stanford Tree

Uncomfortability rating: 3.5

Stanford Tree

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Stanford's Tree used to be a pine tree in athletic pants, but recently it got a bit more ... festive. It's still wearing shorts, but that tongue is just obscene.

Philadelphia Phillies' Phanatic

Uncomfortability rating: 4

Phillie Phanatic

Bill Streicher-USA TODAY Sports

What would a mascot list be without the Philly Phanatic? He's not inherently alarming, but some of the Phanatic's antics, especially hitting on female fans, are better done wearing pants.

Mostly nude

Penn State's Nittany Lion

Uncomfortability rating: 1

Penn State Nittany Lion

Matthew O'Haren-USA TODAY Sports

No coverage whatsoever here. But there's no life in those eyes whatsoever, either. If you're dead inside you've got bigger problems than finding clothes.

Jacksonville Jaguars' Jaxson de Ville

Uncomfortability rating: 4

Jaxson de Ville

Doug Benc-Getty Images

Mr. de Ville is a bit of an exhibitionist. The Jaguars sometimes let him roam the field in a thong-type getup. Jaxson may have retired, but wherever he is he's walking a furry, fine line.

New Orleans Pelicans' King Cake Baby

Uncomfortability rating: 5

King Cake Baby

Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

During Mardi Gras, the most special time of year in New Orleans, the team brings out their ... seasonal mascot: King Cake Baby.

This thing is a monster. Why is it allowed to run around in just a papier-mâché diaper? The fact that human arms and legs are poking out of its strange plastic shell make it seem like someone is just trying to get out of their infant-shaped prison.

Fully nude

Detroit Red Wings' Al the Octopus

Uncomfortabilty rating: .5

Al the Octopus

Andrew Weber-USA TODAY Sports

Al doesn't wear pants, but we'll cut him some slack given he'd have to put them on like everyone else, one tentacle at a time.

Western Kentucky University Big Red

Uncomfortabilty rating: 3

Western Kentucky University Big Red

Ed Zurga-Getty Images

Not a bird or a mammal. For a school whose athletic teams are known as the Hilltoppers, we can only guess as to what this creature is, but there's one thing we do know. It's as bare as the day it was born.

San Diego Chargers: Boltman

Uncomfortability rating: 5

Boltman

Jed Jacobsohn/ALLSPORT

???????????

WHAT IS THIS???

Dangerously jagged and muscular — this guy comes close to making this post NSFW, but someone has got to bring attention to this yellow monstrosity. For the sake of the children, San Diego has since put him in a uniform, but even so, who green-lighted this idea in the first place?