Every one of us with a dog has had that moment where we’ve returned home to utter chaos. For Enrique Hernández of the Dodgers it just so happened to come after Game 1 of the World Series.
For those wondering how I celebrated winning Game 1 of the #WorldSeries. I had to get in the tub with my pup who was covered in his own !— Enrique Hernández (@kikehndez) October 25, 2017
Hernández tweeted at roughly 10:30 p.m. local time. Imagine you’re coming home after a long night at the office, and even though it was rewarding, you’re emotionally and physically spent. You probably just want to kick back and relax, maybe grab a nighttime snack and throw on some TV — then a poop-covered dog comes running down the hallway. It’s something you need to take care of immediately, and your adult life has never felt more real.
Enrique Hernández has two very good dogs, Arizona and Bruce Wayne (excellent names Kiké, by the way). We’ve reached out to him to try and find out the culprit, but until that time we can only try to sleuth this one out from photos he’s posted of the dogs.
Why it could be Arizona:
She looks so innocent, and it’s always the innocent ones you need to watch out for. Watch any documentary about a serial killer and the neighbors always say “He seemed no normal and sweet.” It’s because they need to keep the veil of normalcy at all times. Reassurance is their weapon. I won’t fall for it, Arizona.
Why it couldn’t be Arizona:
Hernández’s tweet clearly referred to the dog being male, which really hurts the possibility of it being Arizona. However, he’d had a long day and mistakes are possible in the heat of the moment. More evidence was not provided, and there’s a chance Arizona could be framed.
Why it could be Bruce Wayne:
He’s the only male dog in the house we know of. Furthermore, many dogs naturally take on the qualities of their name. Bruce Wayne is a brilliant, but troubled individual used to spending his time amount countless number of bats and their guano. Poop is part of Wayne’s life, so naturally Bruce Wayne the dog would have those traits too.
Why it couldn’t be Bruce Wayne:
Arizona is DEFINITELY smart enough to set her brother up, and while Bruce Wayne looks like schemer I think it’s false bravado. There’s a fragility behind those eyes, and something a wily pup could easily take advantage of.
All evidence currently points to Bruce Wayne being the perpetrator. Even the best dog attorney would have a hard time defending the testimony by Hernandez that it was a male dog who pooped in his tweet. That said, this could all be a set up and there could be other variables we don’t know about.
Was there a third dog in the house?
Could a one-pawed pupper have been the rogue pooper?
Did Hernández actually take a bath with his poop-encrusted pooch?
We hope to get these answers and it’s our solemn promise to keep you up to date on this breaking news story as information comes in.