Kirk Cousins is the NFL’s unquestioned king of boardwalk merch. Over the weekend this monstrosity popped into my Twitter feed:
Kirk Cousins is selling “YULE LIKE THAT!” Christmas sweaters.. pic.twitter.com/kujx5RoBoL— Danny (@recordsANDradio) November 18, 2017
Before fans get all huffy and call me a hater, I’d like to note that Cousins is playing exceptionally well and having the best season a Washington QB has had in decades. You can appreciate things independently of one another. For instance, I’m a Panthers fan — I can like watching Cam Newton on the field and mercilessly mock his clothing line at the same time.
So let’s get back to Cousins and his truck stop merchandise. The “Yule like that!” sweater is just horrific. It’s not even a knit sweater. It’s a faux-knit fleece, and Cousins is on it looking like an SNES version of himself from Tecmo Bowl. Also, dude, we get it — you yelled “YOU LIKE THAT!” and became a meme. Can probably give it a rest now.
But that’s not all Cousins has on sale ...
What about blatantly ripping off an idea from a movie?
Cousins’ people just took a design from The Hangover and made some small tweaks. You can get the real shirt from Amazon for $9.99, or Kirk Cousins’ rip-off for $29.99.
These prior examples are so bad I’m actually OK going back to his O.G. shirt.
Cousins’ site started selling this immediately after he said the phrase in 2015, and it’s the No. 1 seller on the site. I respect the hustle of selling this in a Michigan State colorway too. It lets you really get as much money as possible for as little effort as needed.
It’s even on a wristband, if you’re into that kind of thing.
Honestly, I just want to include these because of the review someone left, which is a free-form writing prompt:
“love the Game changer shirt and I even bought one for my daughter's step mom as we are all die hard Redskins fans. I got the KC sweatshirt as well and wore it to Skins/Dallas which glad I brought it, boy was it cold and a monsoon. I creid Seahwaks game 2013 so you can imagine how happy I was buying everyone shots during Seahawks game when only points on the board were 2 and three missed field goals. Amazing game!!!!!! I can not wait to see the Skins and Cousins take on the Vikings. Should be good, I waer my Cousins jersey and my girls wears her Hopkins (her last name as well :-)
HAIL TO THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS! #85yearsandcounting #Cousinsfranchisequarterback #breeland #hopkins #25lightingupthefield #ryanplayinglikeabeast #trueteam #myskins #httr #httr4life #markrypien199192 #mcdonoughrams92 #puttingontheritz”
I’m not saying Cousins shouldn’t be on his grind. I’m just saying, “Dude, be better,” because this merch is horrible, and I feel so bad for the person who will get that ugly-ass “YULE LIKE THAT!” sweatshirt as a holiday gift.
You know, I was comfortable hating everything on KirkCousins.org until I saw this photo, and now I’m oddly OK with all of this.