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LaVar Ball knocked off Stephen A. Smith in the ultimate hot-take war

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“First Take” finally met its match.

Famous dad LaVar Ball went on ESPN’s First Take on Thursday morning and went toe-to-toe with Stephen A. Smith and you know what ... he might have won.

LaVar is so adamant that he’d beat Michael Jordan 1-on-1 that it totally disarms Smith. This famous dad walked onto the set without any proof or evidence, said he’d beat the GOAT, and insinuated that MJ is only good in a 5-on-5 game and somehow still comes out on top.

This is like someone standing with a sandwich board on a street corner proclaiming the end of the world and winning a physics argument with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Smith is a rank hot-take amateur used to pitching softballs of molten steel compared to Ball, who tosses takes the size of the sun like a medicine ball and all you do is get out of the way. Listen carefully as Smith can only offer a whimper as he begs “Would you stop it?” He knows this is no Skip Bayless, and he is at the altar of hot-take greatness.

Shoot, LaVar even renamed Los Angeles while he was there:

Nobody has developed a better brand in the last three months that LaVar Ball. The man has gone from total obscurity to being a part of the sports lexicon just as quickly as the “Ice Bucket Challenge” or “planking” did. Let’s check the head-to-head on popularity:

You know this means LaVar is getting his own studio show soon — and you know what, we’re all for it. There’s room in the sports landscape to take the hot-take show so far that it becomes absurdist theater. We all need it.