On Monday night, Grizzlies coach David Fizdale gave us one of the great postgame press conferences of all time, when he furiously added “they’re not going to rook us!” and “TAKE THAT FOR DATA!” to the sports lexicon following his team’s loss to the Spurs.
It’s beautiful, pure, and will absolutely get him fined for talking about the game’s officials. Before today I honestly couldn’t tell you who the Grizzlies’ coach was. Now David Fizdale is my favorite coach in the NBA.
A good coach rant is a beautiful sports jewel, and like any beautiful jewel it’s good to look at them from time to time. These are some of the best coach rants of all time.
“I’M A MAN! I’M 40!”
Oklahoma State’s Mike Gundy went on a legendary tirade in 2007 after The Oklahoman wrote about quarterback Bobby Reid in which he called out the newspaper for postulating why he was moved to second string. Video of Gundy screaming about it is still mentioned to this day.
“You play to win the game!”
The beauty of Herm Edwards’ 2002 rant about the Jets was his delivery. “You play to win the game” is a pretty innocuous and clichéd quote, but he turned it into a Shakespearean epic with his tone and timber.
Michigan women’s basketball coach Kevin Borseth holds the record for the most animated anyone has ever been about offensive rebounds. This clip came in 2008 after Michigan lost to Wisconsin, largely because of — you guessed it — offensive rebounds.
“I represent me.”
Rumors swirled in 2007 that Les Miles was interested in coaching Michigan, if the job became available. This got worse when, on the day of the SEC Championship Game, it was reported that Miles had accepted the position, and it prompted him to hold this impromptu presser to try and set the record straight.
“They are who we thought they were!”
Dennis Green’s fury about being asked about the Bears following a Monday Night Football loss boiled over. He was fired at the end of the season after going 5-11 and the Bears, well, they went to the Super Bowl.
“You tell me.”
Mavericks coach Avery Johnson turned the tables in 2006 when he asked a reporter to give his impression of a play, rather than answer himself. What followed was a whole lot of awkward banter as the reporter tried to get the conference back on track, but Johnson wouldn’t let him until he finally relented.
Jim Mora’s legendary 2001 quote wasn’t so much a rant as a stone-cold reality. The Colts were 4-6, the chances of making it to the postseason were grim, and Mora turned himself into a meme. This is still one of the most memorable moments in press conference history.
“I’LL KILL YOU!”
Maybe this one doesn’t technically count, but any time you get an opposing coach running in and threatening to kill the opposing coach, it’s worth it. Chaney was furious that John Calipari screamed at the refs and reportedly told them they’d never call a UMass game again. This prompted Chaney to defend the officials — even after losing — and get into it with Cal at the podium.
It’s OK, because they became friends in the end.