clock menu more-arrow no yes

Filed under:

Lookit

Gritty playing in the snow is equal parts adorable and terrifying

Big news out of Philly.

It’s snowing in Philadelphia, which means the prophecy has begun.

Loose translations from cave paintings in Bolivia denote just how terrifying this is. Anthropologists have debate d their exact meaning in the few months since Gritty popped into existence, but from what we gather experts generally agree on the following reading:

“When the one called Gritty feels its first snow there will be an endless winter.”

The words “endless” and “snow” have been debated, because ancient people used “10,000 years” to mean an eternity, and weirdly the term “snow” literally translated into “Zamboni dust,” which is a really weird thing to call snow.

My God.

At this point debating whether Gritty is amazing or terrifying is pointless. He’s arrived and will consume all we hold dear. I don’t know much about the Old Ones, but from what I’ve gathered it’s best to just force subservience in the hopes the almighty will grace us with a swift death, and not absorb our souls into his endless maw of destruction.

The snow has fallen. This is the end. It’s been great knowing you all.