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How every TV network will eventually be covering the inescapable NFL Draft

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Welcome to the future.

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The NFL Draft is going to be EVERYWHERE this year. FOX, ABC, ESPN, ESPN2, ESPN Deportes, and the NFL Network will bring wall-to-wall coverage of all seven rounds. It got us thinking: It’s only a matter of time before every cable network is in on the fun and the draft is impossible to avoid.

Here’s what we think you can look forward to when the NFL Draft spreads through cable TV like a virus.

Bravo - Watch the later rounds on Bravo where Andy Cohen, four Real Housewives, and the most recent Top Chef winner are a few drinks in and not even talking about football anymore.

CSPAN - Broadcasting only Round 5, the draft coverage on CSPAN will put the “E” in “extemporaneous filing of Tax Code Form 1-11-67.” Join host Ruth Bader Ginsburg as she analyzes not just the ability of the hottest prospects the fifth round has to offer, but how they’ll set a precedent for drafts to come.

TNT - Watch the draft with some familiar faces. That’s right, the gang from Law & Order are back and in the football justice system there are two separate, but equally important sides: The players who are drafted, and the teams who select them. Rather than having a live draft event, TNT will borrow ESPN’s audio and play it over the top of the Law & Order reruns you know and love. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Jerry Orbach discover a dead body while explaining in Mel Kiper’s voice about the “violent hands” of a third-round offensive tackle.

Hallmark - Join Hallmark stalwarts Lacey Chabert and Candace Cameron Bure as they analyze the draft class in a way you’ve never dreamed possible. Who has leading-man qualities? Which star will feature in this winter’s classic, The Quarterback and the Princess? No one has heard of drama like that will unfold in the Hallmark original movies Once Upon a Draft and A Green Room Romance.

PBS - It’s a very Antiques Roadshow draft over on public broadcasting with a cavalcade of stars joining the booth to break down the prospects. Watch as colonial furniture expert Neil McMellen discusses quarterbacks. Joan Marie-Stephensonson, an expert in Edwardian jewelry, is here to explain why the “ample posterior” of that fullback your team just took is a reason to be amped.

HGTV - Fixer Upper cedes the floor to no one, so instead of Chip and Joanna Gaines commenting on the NFL Draft, they’ll be having a home-improvement draft of their own while remodeling NFL fans’ houses. Tune in to see Colts fans throw a fit over not getting an upgrade to their En Suite before the Bills drafted it, the Jags reaching for a hibachi for the patio instead of taking the obvious choice of a canopy, and everyone laughing at the Chiefs when they draft built-in-shelving that will work in their system for a few years before they try and fail to move it.

GRIT (yes, this is a real channel): Taking a break from its usual John Wayne and Chuck Norris marathons, GRIT will bring out recently retired Danny Woodhead to form his own NFL Draft GRIT All-Star team. Which small Division III player is your next favorite blue-collar guy? Which draftee boasts the highest motor? Has the most g-r-i-n-d? The expert on grittiness will let us know.

History Channel - That goofy gang behind Pawn Stars is here to use their skills and appraise each pick in the draft. Spoiler: They’re worth about 20 percent of their actual value! Also that guy named “Chumlee” gets his head stuck in a toilet.

Animal Planet - Wildlife experts Jeff Corwin and, uh, Anthony Anderson discuss every draft pick in association with teams featuring animal mascots. Can the Jaguars maul the Ravens this season, or will this year’s draft picks let the birds fly their way to the Super Bowl? “Oh, man,” Corwin says. “Jaguars can be ferocious creatures. Beautiful. Graceful. Amazing. I mean, not Blake Bortles, but other Jaguars.” Will those new rookies make a splash for the Dolphins? How bucking amazing will the Broncos be? How come the Chargers don’t use that awesome horse logo anymore? (But, for real though. It rocks.) Do draft picks that come from colleges with animal mascots tend to do better in the NFL? Unique insight from some of the planet’s foremost animal experts will not only make you feel smarter, but will make you long for the days when no one covered the NFL Draft on TV.