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Joe Thomas’ weight gain tips might kill you

Noooope!

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Joe Thomas had some interesting tips for high school football players looking to gain weight — and they’re terrifying.

In order to understand how horrific this is you need to appreciate what precisely Thomas is talking about here.

  • A standard loaf of sandwich bread has 18 slices.
  • This means Thomas made 9 PB&Js for the day.
  • One half per hour doesn’t sound too nuts, but ...
  • That means it took him 18 hrs to consume them all.
  • This means his last half of sandwich sat out for 18 hrs after being made.
  • Assuming Joe was drinking average 8 oz glasses of water he consumed 1.2 GALLONS of milk a day.
  • It’s been found that drinking more than three glasses of milk a day can lead to early death.

Keep in mind that this was all in addition to his standard three meals a day. I’m very worried for Joe. Especially in light of his late-night snack.

My goodness.