The town of Boerne, Texas — near San Antonio — is hosting a special fun run on May 5 designed to test the mettle of those whose mettle is rarely tested: A 0.5K.
Raising money for the charity Blessings in a Backpack, the Boerne 0.5K is a lampoon of the typical 5K run, and the people who fill your timeline with photos at 6 a.m. of them prepping to race. Branded as an event for underachievers, the race will take runners on a beautiful 546-yard route over a creek. Before the event every runner will get a free pint of beer to prepare them for their journey, and there are even plans to make sure participants have the fuel they need to make it to the finish.
“Coffee and donut station at the halfway point for carb-loading and energy. This will also be where the designated smoking area is.”
But there’s more to the Boerne 0.5K, so much more. The race also features:
- A Euro oval-style sticker reading “0.5K” you can stick on your car to lord your superiority over others.
- Participating medals for everyone.
- Live music at two brewpubs along the route.
- A bagpipe player giving a wheezing rendition of “Amazing Grace.”
- A VIP pass which gives participants the chance not to run at all, instead riding the route in a 1963 Volkswagen bus.
- A medical tent — because why not?
Sadly the race is totally full. It turns out the idea of a fun run for lazy people is a popular idea. Hopefully the success can expand this dream everywhere, because who doesn’t want to run a couple of blocks and then justify drinking copious amounts of beer as a result?