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Kobe Bryant to the Big 3 probably isn’t happening anytime soon. Sorry, everyone

This needs to happen.

Depending on who you believe, Kobe Bryant may or may not make his return to the hardwood to play in the Big 3 league next season.

If you believe Big 3 co-founders and co-CEOs Ice Cube and Jeff Kwatinetz, the two suggested that Bryant might actually be considering joining the Big 3 next year.

They were asked if they expected to ever see Kobe come play for their league. Their answers were a bit vague, but gave hope one of the greatest NBA players in history could grace the court in a 3-on-3 setting.

“We have a list of people we would love to see and I think the fans would love to see,” Ice Cube said. “The fans would love to see Kobe, Tim Duncan, Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce. Anybody who still has the passion to play. We don’t want you if you don’t have the passion to play. If Kobe doesn’t have the passion to play on this level, then it’s better for him to watch on TV. If he has the passion, then here we are.”

“I did hear from a credible source Kobe is going be playing next year,” Kwatinetz said. “That’s something, but it may be nothing.”

But if you believe Molly Carter, the chief marketing officer of Kobe Inc., “he definitely is not playing next year.”

How did we get here?

In retirement Kobe Bryant has won an Oscar, and made $200M profit in an investment. My general thesis here is that Kobe keeps climbing mountains, so he might as well play in the Big 3 league.

The idea of Kobe in the Big 3 popped up on Sunday when Steven Jackson was asked if Bryant could handle the physicality of the Big 3, and lost it.

It goes without saying that Kobe-freaking-Bryant could hang with the likes of Stephen Jackson, Ricky Davis, and Corey Magette. That said, we need to put a team around him. As much as I’d love to see Kobe take on the world 1v3, there’s just some things not even Kobe can overcome — like, say defending three people.

Let’s build Kobe a team!

The logo.

We need something a little bit cheeky, and also fun. No team names in the Big 3 are especially good, so the bar is pretty low.

I made the name possessive because everyone knows whose team this is.

A totally plausible Kobe Bryant Big 3 roster.

Kobe Bryant - Derek Fisher - Ronny Turiaf

We need to offer something to Kobe in order for him to play in the Big 3, so what better chance than allow him to play again with his former teammates? In the past Bryant has praised both Fisher and Turiaf, calling them two of his favorite former teammates — so this is an opportunity to get the band back together.

Rosters we WANT Kobe to form.

Kobe Bryant - Andrew Bynum - Shaquille O’Neal

Would this team win the entire league with almost no effort? Yes.

Would this team explode two games into the season and made headlines? Also, yes.

Kobe Bryant - Smush Parker - Chris Mihm

This is another Lakers throwback, but one where Kobe never gets the ball despite being the most talented person on the team.

Kobe Bryant - Spud Webb - Muggsy Bogues

This would just be too cute.

Kobe Bryant - Duane Causwell - Kobe’s Oscar Statue

We know Kobe is running the show anyway, so lets give him a great teammate (and meme) in Causwell, and a statue. The Oscar statue might not do much, but could trip someone.

Kobe Bryant - Michael Jordan - Stephen A. Smith

Kobe and MJ just go off, while SAS stands around the perimeter arguing about who is better.

Kobe Bryant (2002) - Kobe Bryant (2005) - Kobe Bryant (2006)

We use science to create three Kobe’s each from one of his best seasons. They play together to determine once and for all who the best Kobe is.

Kobe Bryant - Allen Iverson - Tim Duncan

Because this team would never lose a game. They’re the Warriors of the Big 3. Wait, what’s that? Kevin Durant wants to join Team Kobe? SMH.

What roster would you like to see if Kobe joined the Big 3 league?