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Please do not open this story unless you want to see an NHL player lose FIVE teeth in a game

Nooooope.

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I absolutely, 100 percent warned you in the headline. Now it’s on you for seeing James Neal’s teeth explode out of his mouth like a firecracker in a pile of Chiclets.

The Flames’ winger caught a high stick from Vancouver’s Alex Biega when he mouth erupted in a hail of busted teeth. It’s difficult to tell precisely how many Neal lost on the play, but I count five distinct pieces fly out of grill, but there’s a possibility some of those are broken chunks of the same tooth.

Honestly though, if you’re nitpicking about how many teeth got shattered in this moment then I don’t have time for you. One tooth, okay it happens — two teeth is bad. Any more than that and it’s just horrific.

Thankfully Flames’ coach Bill Peters was there with an understanding quote following the game.

“That’s why there are dentists, right.”

Without knowing Neal’s specific dental history there’s a chance these were already fake. Still gross.

The Flames would lose in a shootout, 4-3.