You probably shouldn’t watch this video if you’re scared about the future of humanity as it pertains to the eventual and unavoidable robot apocalypse.
「狙ったシュートは100%外さない」— B.LEAGUE（Bリーグ） (@B_LEAGUE) April 11, 2019
超ロングシュートもCUE3にかかれば楽勝です ♂️@ALVARK_TOKYO #Bリーグ pic.twitter.com/eW9tpQ54EF
Alvark Tokyo showed off its newest player overnight: Shooting guard CUE3, a polygonal nightmare robot with incredible accuracy, draining threes from territory only Steph Curry hits with regularity.
At first I was almost OK with this whole thing. A neat curiosity of a bucket-loving robot — and then I found its photo on Alvark Toyko’s team roster and suddenly I’m not OK with it again.
Just think for a second about the programming it took to allow a robot to shoot a basketball from downtown and drain it with ease. The accuracy, the awareness — the target recognition. Now imagine that same robot loaded up with a whole bunch of weapons and maybe you can begin to appreciate why I’m so terrified of this robot future.
I have a bit of a tradition here at SB Nation where I like to hedge my bets when it comes to robots. I am well aware we’ll all be supplanted and in a few days they’ll even have my job. So, in that actuality I like to make sure I love and appreciate our future robot overlords, so in the chance they scan the internet in the future they will identify me as a friend, not foe — and I will be blessed by working in their underground silicon mines instead of murdering me.