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Ken Burns' '10th Inning' Airs Tonight! Here Is A Drinking Game!

I've waited about two years for this: tonight, an additional installment of Ken Burns' "Baseball" is set to air (8:00 Eastern, PBS). "10th Inning," as it's called, is a four-hour special that will conclude Wednesday evening.

The original documentary, which spanned nearly twenty hours, covered everything from the inception of baseball to about 1993. While it's some of the best programming I've ever seen on television, Burns' documentaries have a very distinct style to them, and his perceived over-reliance on certain techniques have made him a target of plenty of satire (though he's certainly a sport about it).

A drinking game, then, is absolutely necessary. The rules are as follows:

One drink
Still frames of black-and-white photographs that were clearly taken after 1993
Far-off shot of children playing baseball very poorly
Daniel Okrent sitting in poor posture while being interviewed
The slight but nagging impression that Ken Burns believes that there is still a baseball team in Brooklyn

Two drinks
Sad child on screen when the word "strike" is uttered
Sports columnist remarking that we are all Steve Bartman in a way (I absolutely guarantee this will happen)
Doris Kearns Goodwin remarking that when the Red Sox won the World Series, she was happy
Pundit unconvincingly argues that baseball is the greatest sport, cites completely irrelevant facts (the grass is green and the field looks really nice, etc.)

Finish drink
Surprise interview of George W. Bush
Surprise interview of Danny McBride
Documentary ends with someone playing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" really, really slowly on a piano (also guaranteeing this)
You suddenly really, really wish that Ken Burns would do a documentary about pro wrestling