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Pirates Increase Game-Day Ticket Prices In 2011, Think We Like Train

In 2010, the Pittsburgh Pirates' 18th consecutive season with a losing record, the Bucs finished with 105 losses -- the most at any point during their streak. It could have been even worse, but somehow, the Pirates -- who rank near the very bottom in attendance -- nearly played .500 baseball at home in PNC Park.

As such, it would seem appropriate to not raise any ticket prices at all as a gesture of appreciation to fans who make a game-day decision to show up:

It is the first price increase of any kind for Pirates tickets in nine years. [...] For instance, an outfield reserved seat that sells for $17, will be $20 if purchased on the day of a game.

Oh, okey-doke then.

[Fireworks show] Skyblast III will feature live music from two-time Grammy Award-winning band Train on Aug. 6 following the Pirates' game with the San Diego Padres.

OH, OKEY-DOKE THEN. To be fair, the price of tickets purchased in advance is actually lowering. On the other hand, two-time Grammy Award-winning band Train. Pirates fans, in lieu of official documents, here is how I reckon the price of your ticket breaks down.

What are you paying for when you buy a $20 game-day Pirates ticket?

$4 - A LaRoche!
$4 discount - oops sorry, out of LaRoches
$12 - building blocks in place to ensure long-term success
$12 discount - lol whoops sorry again
$12 - regular blocks
$0.10 - Matt Diaz records a base hit against a lefty
$5 - Matt Diaz records a base hit against a righty
$30 - interest on production costs spent over last 75 years to make pirate on logo angrier
$20 - Pirates ticket
$43 - Miles-long trail of bread crumbs leading into the forest in the hopes that 2005 Zach Duke will follow it home
$6 - Baseballs and bats and whatnot
$128.10 discount and an apology - two-time Grammy Award-winning band Train

(Link via Darren Rovell)