Aroldis Chapman was hit in the face by a line drive on Wednesday, but thankfully "only" suffered a concussion, facial fractures, and lacerations on his face. He also had a metal plate inserted into his head.
Hey, did you know when they insert a metal plate into your head, they also empty an entire stapler into you? If you didn't, and don't want to see the evidence, you should probably just bail now.
I told you to bail, dammit, why didn't you listen to me?
Here's hoping Chapman has a speedy recovery, and is blowing 100-plus mile per hour heat past opposing batters sooner than later.