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Here's Mike Tyson throwing out the first pitch for the Pirates

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You weren't expecting this.

Here's Mike Tyson throwing out the first pitch for the Pirates on Thursday night:

There were ear jokes! Here Tyson is with Tony Sanchez:

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Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

Man, I totally remember that time he disfigured another human being! That was hilarious, I want a picture, too! They should make de-earing shirts and prints.

But, really, the only thing you need from this first pitch is the jersey Tyson should have worn:


Because there's nothing worse than spending six hours and finding out that Super Macho Man is waaaaay harder than you remember.