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Jon Heyman calls 'poppycock!' on 'Million Dollar Arm' publicity

Yu Darvish? I mean, jelly?

Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

From the unfiltered stream of consciousness that is Twitter, Jon Heyman has some issues with the journalistic integrity of some of his peers:

Playful jab or serious beef? I can't even tell anymore. This is in response to the upcoming "Million Dollar Arm" movie coming out, which has about a eight-percent chance of being better than "Trouble With the Curve," which was 800 percent worse than "Bad News Bears Go To Japan," which was 8,000 percent worse than getting your tongue stuck in a zipper.

Apparently, there are some known writers making their on-screen debuts, like Ken RosenthalScott Miller, and Jayson Stark, and some of them have been tweeting about the film, or in Stark's case, writing about the experience.

This is a conflict of interests, it would seem. To assure SB Nation readers, here is The Official Ethics Policy of SB Nation Baseball With Regards to Movie Appearances and Cameos.

1. If I am ever cast in a movie, I will write incessantly about that movie

We have a brilliant longform division that has next-level design ideas, and they would really make these articles pop. Possible angles: What's it like being in a movie? What kind of experiences did I have? How good will this movie probably be? Why should everyone see this movie other than for my appearance? If you had to pick one movie with serious Oscar buzz this season, wouldn't it be (movie)?

I will write at least one article every day about this movie. If this movie were a player, which player would it be? If this movie were a player throughout history, which player would it be? If this movie were a baseball GIF, which one would it remind you of? Five baseball plays that remind me of this movie. If "Game of Thrones" regions all had their own different baseball teams throughout Westeros, which banners would want to see this movie?

2. If I am cast in a movie, I will tweet incessantly about that movie

As a verified member of the Twitter elite, my opinions are more important than the typical social media user. People really listen to me. As such, I will spend most of my time live-tweeting my time on the set:

Heading out of the trailer now. Should be a fun day of shooting! #majorleagueIV
- @mccoveychron

Had to wake up at 5:00 a.m. today for a shoot. UGH. #movielife #majorleagueIV
- @mccoveychron

The thing I like about this screenplay is that it's probably the best screenplay I've ever read, no joke. #majorleagueIV
- @mccoveychron

3. I love sushi, but it's prohibitively expensive

If you could get some catered, that would be awesome.

4. Your movie idea sounds perfect, let's chat

Really, this town is out of ideas, but yours was a breath of fresh air. It's just ... just refreshing, you know? For my entire life, I've been waiting for the "Godfather" of baseball, the "Bicycle Thief," the film that transcends the genre of the sport and becomes a part of the public consciousness, even for people who have never watched an inning in their lives. I think this film does that.

I want to be a part of this movie.

'Game of Thrones' scorecard

You won't regret casting me in this movie. I played Action in a high school production of "West Side Story," and Jeff Brantley -- who was there to watch a family friend -- commented positively on my performance. That is an absolutely true story. I have chops. I have chops.

I hope this clears up just where we stand on the subject of Hollywood and journalistic integrity. This is our promise to you -- more of a social compact, really -- and we take this very, very seriously. Thank you.