SB Nation

Sarah Kogod and Nicole Conlan | April 6, 2015

11 outrageous ballpark foods that might kill you this season

At least you'll die happy

  1. Fan v. Food Burger

    Tampa Bay RaysA four pound burger with two eight 8-ounce patties and eight slices of cheese. Oh, and 32 slices of bacon. It's called Fan vs. Food as if there were some chance of Fan ever winning this battle.

  2. The Walk Off

    Baltimore OriolesA sausage wrapped in a pretzel roll covered in crab dip. If you need a steak knife and fork to eat it, it's not proper ballpark food. Also, handing out steak knives to drunk sports fans probably isn't the best idea.

  3. Pulled Pork Mac 'n Jack Sausage

    Kansas City RoyalsPepperjack sausage topped with pulled pork, spiral mac and cheese and bacon crumbles on a bun. There's no chance that bun holds up for more than 30 seconds.

  4. The College Daze Bloody Mary

    Minnesota TwinsA bloody mary with a slice of pizza in it and a beer back. According to the Twins, this bloody mary will bring back college memories. If they really wanted to bring back college memories, they'd leave that pizza sitting in a box on the counter for a few days before sticking it into a red solo cup of warm Natty Light. And it sure as hell wouldn't cost $19.

  5. Chicken and Waffle Cone

    Houston AstrosYour chicken and mashed potatoes are now portable thanks to this handy waffle cone. I'd mess with it. The honey mustard topping is suspect, though.

  6. Totally Rossome

    Texas RangersA one pound 24-inch hot dog topped with smoked brisket, fresh pico, sour cream and crunchy Nacho Cheese Doritos. Because it's classy like that.

  7. Dixie Dog

    Atlanta BravesA footlong all-beef hot dog flash-fried, topped with a mustard-based barbecue sauce, pulled pork, coleslaw, and pickles. Lose the hot dog and you're onto something.

  8. The Brunch Burger

    Pittsburgh PiratesA burger with cheddar cheese, fried egg and bacon with a sprinkled glazed donut for a bun. Just like the pirates of yore used to eat.

  9. Twitter

    Meat lovers hot dog

    Cincinnati RedsA quarter-pound, deep fried hot dog topped with chili, pepper jack cheese, and fried salami. Random beef parts topped with random pork parts. Yum.

  10. Pulled pork parfait

    Milwaukee BrewersPulled pork and mashed potatoes layered parfait-style, topped with chives. Because fruit and yogurt is for pansies.

  11. Rocky Mountain Oysters

    Colorado RockiesDeep-fried bull or bison testicles. Don't try this at home. Actually, don't try this ever.

About the Author

Sarah Kogod is a writer based in Washington, D.C. Her work has appeared in the Washington Post, NBC, Huffington Post and Deadspin. Sometimes she asks athletes silly questions.