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The terrible offseason news just keeps on coming for the Orioles. The O's, who used to celebrate victories with a pie in the face delivered by star center fielder Adam Jones, will no longer be able to do so, as Baltimore has made pies to the face illegal. Just to be clear, the city didn't ban pies to the face, just the Orioles -- so please, teams visiting Orioles Park at Camden? Hit your players with pies in the face after victories. You know, in memoriam.
Jones, fittingly, is the one who shared the news with a series of tweets this weekend. It's apparently a safety concern of the Orioles, which we probably shouldn't be surprised about given how particular they are about their players' physicals. Pies, though? Hoverboards? Okay. Solowheels? Makes sense. But pies? This is one safety concern too many, O's.
Did you know the Orioles used actual pies and not just shaving cream in a pie tin for their postgame celebrations? The irony is that the shaving cream pies were far more of a safety concern, given players complained that those were burning their eyes, so a local company, Dangerously Delicious, began providing two real pies per home game. Maybe this is all just a misunderstanding about the word "dangerously" in their name, but to add insult to fear of injury, now the Orioles won't be able to eat the extra pie sent their way.
No wonder Dexter Fowler went back to the Cubs.
- A's reliever John Axford correctly predicted 17 of the 24 Oscars winners, including 10 in a row. It's not quite his perfect 18-for-18 from 2014, but it's pretty great considering he included all categories this time.
- Spring training games don't start until Tuesday, but don't worry, college baseball is happening and we've already got a bat flip after a walk-off grand slam.
- Yoenis Cespedes has had some impressive spring training rides, and now he wants a custom Batmobile. We came up with the next seven vehicles he should think about having made.
- The Orioles aren't the only team Dexter Fowler spurned, as the White Sox made an offer that he avoided.
- The Phillies are hoping they don't lose against a college team for the second year in a row.
- Ian Desmond finally has a home, so now every free agent with a qualifying offer is signed.
- Many of us want players to be themselves when they speak, but that's something of a self-expression trap.
- Here are four MLB moments that occurred on leap days past.