Scott Boras isn’t one to avoid flowery language when he’s speaking to a crowd. Or when he’s not speaking to a crowd, really. Basically, Scott Boras always talks like he’s the smartest person in the room even when he might not be.
There’s nothing wrong with that approach, and he uses that posturing to be a larger-than-life personality that can press team owners and GMs into giving him and his clients more money than they might actually be worth.
So it’s working for him, is what I’m saying.
His latest lengthy oration, at this week’s GM Meetings, was no different. It was given from a place of confidence and strategy, which is par for the course. It also had some wild and out there sound bites, which is also par for the course for Boras.
Here’s a sampling of the metaphors, references, and simply weird stuff Boras said during his time in front of reporters.
Scott Boras just referred to Jake Arrieta as a “big squirrel with a lot of nuts in his trees.” Don’t ask why.— Jerry Crasnick (@jcrasnick) November 15, 2017
“Don’t ask why” is great advice for most of the things on this list, actually.
In order to move to Playoffville, Scott Boras says, you have to pay the property tax.— Andy McCullough (@McCulloughTimes) November 15, 2017
I️ believe this is a metaphor, but you can never be too sure.
Is Playoffville real? What are the property taxes in Playoffville? How similar is it to the Reese Witherspoon classic Pleasantville. Aw man, now I’m imagining Mike Moustakas in the Tobey Maguire role. THANKS BORAS.
This is a command performance from Scott Boras. Says teams who claim they aren’t making money are practicing “Casper Finance . . . Where’s the ghost? Where’s the money?”— Andy McCullough (@McCulloughTimes) November 15, 2017
Coming next fall, Bill Pullman stars in the latest installment in the Casper franchise, Casper Finance!
Scott Boras says there have been no talks w #Nats about contract extension for Bryce Harper but he's willing to listen. The Nats ownership believe Harper in free agency would cost in excess of $500 million— Bob Nightengale (@BNightengale) November 15, 2017
Of course he’s willing to listen, that’s literally his job as an agent. It would have actually been better if Boras came out and said, “Nothing the Nationals say matters to me, Bryce and I are going on a cross-country road trip next offseason because we’ve never seen Mount Rushmore. We’ll be back in January to a pile of bids.”
Scott Boras on teams cutting payroll: "This is not about an inability to pay, it's about a choice not to pay."— Mike Puma (@NYPost_Mets) November 15, 2017
Now we’re getting in to “Godfather II quote or Scott Boras quote?”
Scott Boras: “This isn’t the Windy City. This is the economic hurricane in Chicago of what the Cubs have done."— Patrick Mooney (@MooneyNBCS) November 15, 2017
What does this even meaaaaaaan.
Eric Hosmer's market already very robust per Scott Boras. "He fits every franchise"— Ben Nicholson-Smith (@bnicholsonsmith) November 15, 2017
Ohhh robust markets and “fitting franchises.” Sensual baseball doesn’t have an offseason.
Not surprisingly, Scott Boras indicated he would rather the Yankees not make the effort they are to get under the luxury tax threshold— Erik Boland (@eboland11) November 15, 2017
And that one’s just obvious. Tell us something we don’t know, Boras. Talk about Jake Arrieta’s nuts again.
That’s the content we’re here for.