The fact that Reds shortstop Zack Cozart is actually getting a donkey as a congratulatory gift from teammate Joey Votto, a promise made earlier in the season should Cozart make the All-Star Game, is amazing. While it seems a bit of a strange gift from one teammate to another, Votto is following through.
But Votto organizing a small crew of donkeys to stop by the field over the weekend is next level, and makes the entire situation that much better. The donkey that Cozart is eventually taking home himself is five months old and still on a farm in Kentucky being trained to become a shortstop’s best friend.
However, despite all the preparation for Cozart’s donkey to go live with him, he still doesn’t have a name picked out. The Reds are encouraging fans to email their choices to donkey@reds.com before July 31 so that Cozart can get some inspiration for his unique buddy.
But we asked fans for options as well, and the below picks might be better than whatever the team releases publicly (since they can easily weed out offensive ones from their email rather than letting this happen on Twitter or Facebook).
There were the obvious donkey puns...
Zackass https://t.co/Ljo27GYfhb
— Blake Tarrants (@btsportsman) July 17, 2017
— Reacbesuley Drunk (@PoseidonsFist) July 17, 2017
A couple of nods to Reds’ history...
I would say "Marge Schott" but that's an insult to the donkey https://t.co/kLxG9ra7ti
— Ants Macabre (@AntsInOK) July 17, 2017
The correct answer: The Big Grey Machine https://t.co/0I55kkYodP
— health care?? (@dj_mosfett) July 17, 2017
Pete Rose.
— McNally (@LikeTheMaps) July 17, 2017
After the Reds' most famous jackass https://t.co/1KV424P8mI
Some impressive player puns...
Pat Burroll https://t.co/0w3SsL1xWw
— Craig Goldstein (@cdgoldstein) July 17, 2017
Paul Assenmacher
— Adam J. Morris (@lonestarball) July 17, 2017
Some non-baseball related ideas...
1) Flonkey the Donkey
— steve (@NatsinNY) July 17, 2017
2) Donkey McDonkeyface
Mr. Spaghetti
— Reo (@reoisrad) July 17, 2017
Eddie Murphy
— Patrick (@pfunk270) July 17, 2017
...and even a Shakespearean tie-in!
Bottom (of the lineup) https://t.co/EOtf4o5F5y
— Christopher Crawford (@Crawford_MILB) July 17, 2017
While Cozart might not go with any of the above (and will certainly be steering clear of anything Schott-related), this is a pretty great starting point for name options.