Did you know that it can take up to nine months for a baby to be conceived, develop inside of the mother, and then be born? That’s way less time than it took the Cubs to win another World Series after their victory all the way back in 1908, so it’s no surprise to see them acting like proud papa bears and showing off all these newborns who arrived in the world nine months after the Cubs finally closed the book on over a century of helplessness.
You see, after the Cubs won the World Series, their fans had sex. We don’t know if it was a lot of sex or a little bit of sex, but it was just the right amount of sex to force this post into existence.
Yes, yes, sarcasm is dripping out of your screen right now, but also, LOOK AT THE LITTLE BABIES
Oh, baby! There’s a boom of #CubsKids today. pic.twitter.com/twvVvJrVR7
— Chicago Cubs (@Cubs) July 26, 2017
It is kind of a shame that the mascot whose eyes say he wants to die had to be one of the first things the babies saw, though.
Here, look at more babies in Cubs’ gear and try not to notice the desperation in Clark’s eyes.
Welcome to the #Cubs family! #CubsKids #ThatsCub pic.twitter.com/xeuKvOKBZz
— Chicago Cubs (@Cubs) July 27, 2017
The Cubs used their awful catchphrase “That’s Cub” in that tweet, so I almost didn’t want to share it with you. However, we shouldn’t just dismiss their message outright, because the Cubs are essentially saying that their fans are horny for baseball.
Horny for baseball: That’s Cub.
OK, the catchphrase is good now.