Chris Archer’s beef with the Astros’ mascot escalates with ‘Declaration of Unfriendliness’

Tampa Bay pitcher Chris Archer has some beef with another team. It’s not the entire organization or a player on the field though — it’s with Houston Astros mascot Orbit. In advance of Monday’s Astros-Rays game, Archer passed Orbit a note with the following message:

A state of discord has existed between Chris Archer of the Tampa Bay Rays and Orbit of the Houston Astros.

Whereas general mischief and rascality has been among Orbit's repeated trespasses, Chris Archer is hereby resolved to carry on a campaign of pranks, gags and high jinks in retaliation which include, but are not limited to, use of objects such as:

Water balloons
Whipped pies
Silly string
Small motorized vehicles
Bubblegum
Hand-crafted signage

And any of the considerable resources of a Major League clubhouse.

This resolution is authorized,
Chris Archer

Orbit then crumpled up the note and threw it on the ground.

That seems like a bit of an overbearing thing to do out of the blue, but of course it’s not out of the blue completely and there’s some actual history here.

Way back in 2015, Orbit showed up at a game against the Rays with a sign comparing Archer’s looks to those of Jaden Smith, noted celebrity offspring and Twitter philosopher.

There weren’t any outsized interactions between Archer and Orbit during the 2016 season, but now things have escalated. And both teams are getting involved.

The Rays tweeted their support of Archer, offering him “all the water balloons and silly string he requires” in his battle against a furry, smiling mascot. In response, the Astros simply tweeted “Oh.”

The Astros ended up crushing the Rays on Monday night, but whether that has any bearing on the ongoing human-mascot beef remains to be seen.

Orbit might want to check around every corner in the stadium with a mirror during this series just in case Chris Archer is lying in wait with a whipped pie. It looks like some interteam diplomacy may need to be involved here if there’s any hope for a peaceful resolution in the near future.