Raise your hand if this baseball offseason is slowly making you lose your mind.
If your hand is not raised you are a damned liar. There’s no way that an offseason that hasn’t averaged more than one major deal a week isn’t gradually eroding your mental faculties, bit by bit making you doubt your own reality and steering you toward increasingly ill-advised ideas. Such as writing about soup.
It’s rough times in the baseball content community and for fans, who are desperately waiting for their teams to make a move — ANY move — and are instead being rewarded with 100 minor league deals and Jay Bruce going back to the Mets which... YAWN.
If you, like me, are slowly but surely losing your grip on life and would rather lay face down in the middle of the Antarctic until a polar bear comes along to end things for you so you don’t have to suffer another single minute from this offseason, then boy, howdy do I have the playlist for you!
Because right now we’re in a slow stretch that never ends, with no news even remotely on the horizon, and it seems like we could all use something to help us get through. So I put together a playlist that most accurately represents what we’re going through for everyone to enjoy — or to at least enjoy more than whatever signing-less hell we’re going through right now.
The title of the playlist gives you a sense of where we all are mentally at this point.
Have fun listening, and pray to the Front Office Deal Making Gods that something (ANYTHINGGGG) happens very soon. Because otherwise you’re going to find me hiding in a corner listening to this playlist on a loop while muttering, “They wouldn’t make deals; why wouldn’t they just make some deals?” over and over until the sun burns up and destroys Earth.